Post 81

Quite honestly – this is one of the uglier and more disappointing of drawings I’ve done recently. It’s a little ironic, however, because I love it because of that…

There is a story, always, about things of this matter; a poem – burst out of you – which upon receipt, you don’t particularly like after all…But still feel compelled to tell and share regardless. A recipe you’ve muddled up a bit, which becomes something of your own…

I am always learning. About people. About things. And most important, how they relate.

I have found this unique and intriguing simplitude – a thought which just popped into my head – You are what you do. What you practice.

I have met many people in recent life who envy my ability to draw. They envy my ability to cook. They envy my creative outlook… Honestly, I’ve never felt particularly special or gifted in that regard, although I suppose based on people I meet that I am blessed with such talents.

It isn’t really a gift though. It is just what I love and enjoy doing. I enjoy thinking. I enjoy learning. I am visual. I am sensually driven. I am curious about why things are. I am curious about what motivates people – what turns them on, and excites them…

People wonder about this ability and wonder why they don’t have it. Tonight I realized why – at least to some degree. I practice it. All of it. Every day. All day… Drawing, music, art, sculpting, pondering…

Some people at the bar, where this was drawn, just play darts. They have cards which track their score, their place, their every movement… they spend hours playing darts…! And they are good at it. I just wonder; what if they spent that time doing something else? Cooking. Drawing. Wondering. Watching. Imagining…

That is pretty much the line in the sand between myself and others who wonder how come they can’t do what I do… It is because I really don’t care about ever becoming a good dart player. I would rather make shitty drawings, trying to capture a moment for myself. To look at figure and ground, to fight with my media.

If they ever spent as much time on something else they would see it differently. Imagine, had they spent that time and energy on playing music. Or drawing. Or writing poems. Imagine…

That is the only difference between creatives and people who love to say they can’t. There really isn’t a big different – though it is vast in execution… It really is nothing more than finding what you want to occupy your utmost effort and passion to.

Music, drawing, poetry, et al, allow something that darts do not. They allow you to develop your own style and become a medium to your own expression and vision… And ultimately, isn’t that the whole point of being alive and living amongst other beings?